People often struggle to change the way they think, feel, say and do things, even when they really would like to, and have suffered serious professional, relational, health and economic consequences for the way they do.
Behavior is always purposeful. People start and continue to do things because it serves a purpose in their lives. Ideally, everything we think, feel, say or do would help us get closer to getting what we really want and need, and make it more likely we’d end up with the kind of life we really
PMH Tool 10 – Recognizing when you and other have Mistaken Goals Read More »
Irrational means thinking, feeling, saying or doing something that makes your life, and perhaps the lives of others worse instead of better. Rational means thinking, feeling, saying or doing something that makes the best of bad situations, that makes your life and the lives of others better. Ideally, everything we think, feel, say or do
PMH Tool 9 – A simple, non-judgmental way to evaluate thoughts, feelings and actions Read More »
Dr. Paul Hauck, an REBT therapist from Davenport, Iowa, USA said that whenever you find yourself in a situation you don’t like, you have four basic options: Problem solve and assert yourself Tolerate with disturbance (get upset) Tolerate without disturbance (don’t get upset) Leave There are two basic types of messages you can use with
PMH Tool 8 – Asserting yourself with “I” Messages Read More »
Positive Mental Health Tool Kit: 11 Mental and Emotional Power Tools The concepts, language, and skills to build a positive, successful, emotionally-intelligent life. by Ray Mathis, Mental Health Educator Intro Watch/listen: https://www.facebook.com/ray.mathis.56/videos/438550932166428 (31:55) Tool 1 – Understanding and appreciating the important role of emotions in everyday life. #PMHStep1_Awareness Read: https://eq4peace.org/pmhtool1 Watch/listen: https://www.facebook.com/ray.mathis.56/videos/931299942331356 (20:51) Tool 2
PMH The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Life Read More »
In math classes, we are taught that if we approach each new problem in the same step-by-step fashion, we are more likely to arrive at the correct answer to the problem. The same is true when approaching problems in everyday life. People must be in the right mental and emotional place to function at the
B stands for Belief, D for Dispute, and A for Answer DEMANDINGNESS Demands in the form of questions B HOW DARE they say that about me? A EASILY! B HOW COULD they say something like that? A EASILY! Demands of others B They HAVE TO (SHOULD, NEED TO) do what I tell
A picture is worth a thousand words. The Think-Feel-Do Thermostat Model is a simple but effective visual to help people see: Where they are emotionally and behaviorally at any given moment The cognitive (thought) reasons they are where they are Where they might want to be emotionally and behaviorally instead What it will take cognitively
PMH Tool 5 – The Think-Feel-Do Thermostat Model Read More »
THOUGHTS cause FEELINGS, not EVENTS. For that reason, it’s important to recognize when you and others think irrationally. Irrational means in ways that cause you to feel worse than is necessary or helpful, and to say or do things that make your life and the lives of others worse instead of better. Dr. Albert Ellis
PMH Tool 4 – Recognizing Irrational Thinking in Yourself and Others Read More »
Locus of control means where we see our feelings as coming from, what we see as the cause of them. Most people have an external (outer) locus of control They wrongly see what others say or do, and what happens (the events of their lives) as the cause of how they feel You need only
PMH Tool 3 – Developing an Internal Locus of Control Read More »
Unconditional Self-Acceptance means choosing to see whatever we think, feel, say or do, have in the past or might in the future as being part of being human, and understandable given what our life experiences have been, which may have been much different than others. The reason choosing to have USA is important is the
Emotion (e-motion) is energy to move. It’s intended to help us deal with threats and get what we want and need. At some point, everyone generates a dysfunctional amount of emotion. That means: more than is necessary or helpful more than we want to have more than we know what to do with a type
Want to truly take control of your inner world, mentally and emotionally? Here’s how.
Applying the concepts of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) and Education to the goal of Peace Step 1: Start by teaching and encouraging students to adopt the belief that all people have the right to want whatever they want. Inherent in that belief is that people will often want different things at the same time
Step 1 – Learn and appreciate the important role emotion plays in everyday life. Emotion is energy to move to help us deal with threats and get what we want and need. The problem is that people too often generate more than is helpful or necessary. They do that because they manufacture threats where they
10 Steps to EQ, by Ray Mathis Read More »
I had to look up the term “authentic communication” because I’d never heard it before. “Effective” yes but not authentic. I like to think of communication in terms of effective vs. ineffective, or constructive vs. destructive, helpful vs. unhelpful, rational (makes life better) vs. irrational (makes life worse). First, I think you have to consider
Authentic Communication Read More »
Helping athletes and students better deal with the usual stress and pressure associated with trying to excel is easier than most realize. We’ve recently seen two premier athletes, first Naomi Osaka and then Simone Biles talk about their struggles with the stress or pressure of competing at the levels they do. It’s certainly understandable and
Athletic Stress & Pressure Read More »
